Talent vs. Attention & Intention

10 Things that Require Zero Talent, according to a FaceBook post from my nephew Drew Murray today:

1. Being on Time
2. Work Ethic
3. Effort
4. Body Language
5. Energy
6. Attitude
7. Passion
8. Being Coachable
9. Doing Extra
10. Being Prepared

While it is true the things on this list require no talent, they do require attention and intention. 

I used to be late to almost everything until someone pointed out that being tardy is a sign of disrespect. That is, when I am late to meet a friend for lunch, I am disrespectng her and disregarding her time. From that perspective, I could see clearly that I was being a selfish, arrogrant twit instead of a friend. I began setting my watch 10 minutes fast and solved the problem (#1).

My work ethic (#2) came from my father. He told me repeatedly: "You are going to spend more time working than anything else your in life, with the possible exception of sleeping. Choose work that you love and you'll not only be happy, you'll be very good at it." 

He was right, of course. I love my career choice as a teacher, writer and storyteller. As a result, I put effort (#3), energy (#5), and passion (#7) into my work. Additonally, I am always coachable (#8) to adding new skills and strategies (#9) to my repertoire.

My friend and mentor Jackie Crowley taught me about body language (#4). When we were young adminstrators at Houston Community College, she suggestd we begin answering the phone with a grin. Try it, and you'll see what I discovered: it creates a friendly attitude (#6) and encourages the person on the other end to mirror your pleasantness. An added value to grinning is that, as I've grown older and my face has begun to sag, the grin is like an instant face lift. Nothing quite like it to put a spring in my step!

Being prepared (#10) has a great deal to do with paying attention to my life,.. embracing opprtunties to engage, sidestepping pettiness and prejudice, learning from my errors in judgment, taking on challenges that surprise and delight, and remaining grateful for the blessings God has bestowed upon me and mine.

Then and Now

As I review 2014, I see that I did not post every Sunday as I had planned. One of my many shortcomings is my all-or-nothing trait. This meant, at a younger age, that if I couldn't be 100 percent, my natural tendency was to claim failure and throw in the towel. But Perfection is no longer my egotistical god, thanks to my friend and mentor Jackie Crowley, who taught me years ago that on a scale 1-10, a 7 is pretty darn good.

Looking back on Jackie's and my thirty-plus years of friendship, I realize what a great mentor she's been. She's ten years older than me and she models the next decade for me by  her example. Over the years, she has shown me the advantage of  being a servant leader with a collaborative view rather than building a silo over which to rule as the Iron Queen. She has taught me to see the best in people and encourage them in their strengths rather than criticizing and ostracizing  them for their shortcomings. (As she's reminded me more than once, given the choice, do we want to be judged with mercy or justice? This is an easy answer for me--I choose mercy every time.)

These days she is living halfway across the nation in the state of Washington. She lives with her grandchildren, showing them the wisdom and delight that comes with aging. She's never been a didactic, moralizing person, so they are learning from her as I did--from her exceptional example and through a dynamic, developing relationship that embraces honesty, humor, and happiness as its guiding principles. 

As a result of trying to follow her example, I believe my relationships with family, friends, and associates have prospered. I know for sure that I am a better person for having known her. She is truly one of my life's blessings.

I had a health scare recently, which put me in the hospital right before Christmas for an 8-day stay. Everything is fine now, but the experience forced me to halt my usual swirling dervish dance moves,  think about where I am in my life, take a good look at my choices, and imagine what my future can look like.

I'm ready for some changes. A new year means beginning anew, a fresh start. So here I am, beginning 2015 with renewed excitement. What will I bring with me into the new year and what will I leave behind?  Jackie recently sent me a book of prompts for grandparents to use to write stories from their lives for the next generation, which got me thinking. I love writing, I love people, and I love helping people write, especially--but not only--the stories of their lives. That sounds like a Sizzling 7, don't you think?


I invite you to think about your own situation. What in your life needs to continue in the new year? What needs left behind?

The Amazng File

Years ago (as in thirty years ago),  my friend Jackie Crowley gave a seminar for her colleagues at Houston Community College. TAF stood for The Amazing File, and the idea was for us to create a file and fill it with photos, letters of accolades, awards, and other things that documented how uniquely wonderful we were.

Jackie gave each of us a red file folder labelled "TAF 101."  ("So you can find it quickly among all those manila folders in your filing cabinet," she explained.) She had her own file to show us--although it was an expandable file because she'd had it awhile and needed more space for her documents.

I came across my file recently. Here's what is in it:

• a photo that Jackie took of me in a hotel room reading the New York Times, documenting the time she and I had been sent by the college president to a national marketing seminar that ultimately led to my doctoral dissertation;
• a letter from my son expressing his love and belief in me;
• a thank you card from a colleague for helping her get funding for a project;
• an honorable mention from Southwest Writers Conference for the opening chapter of a novel;
• birthday cards from friends and family with personal notes written inside telling me what a fun and caring person I am;
• a letter from the United Way thanking me for chairing the campaign for the college district;
• a transcript from Texas A&M University showing heaps of A's earned in grad school;
• pictures of Christmas parties I hosted over the years for friends who couldn't go home for the holidays;
• certificates of appreciation for service work on various community and  college committees;
•  pictures of Ireland from my first trip across the Atlantic that I took with my cousin "Bubbles";
• a letter from my dad conveying his delight and pride in being my father; and
• my beloved Trixie Ann's dog tags.

Going through the file always gives me such a warm feeling because I can see clearly that my life matters, not because of the job I have or my job title, but because of who I am as a person.

It's good to have a file where I can go and be reminded of my value because, unfortunately, there are days when I am so depressed and discouraged that I need to see concrete evidence that tells me I'm not a failure.

If you don't have a file on yourself, I highly recommend that you begin building one.