My friend
Maddie died the day after Christmas. For the record, she died sober—she
celebrated 28 years in November—but succumbed to cancer.
We had a
memorial service yesterday at an AA club that was packed beyond what the fire
marshal would have desired—the chairs were filled, no standing room remained in
the back of the room, and yet people still crowded in. We all loved Maddie, and
we needed to console each other in our grief and share our memories of her.
She was a
creative force in our lives, a warrior woman, with a grin that captured our
hearts. Surely she would’ve captured yours as well had you ever met her.
We shared
hours of stories. Recounting and
reflecting on those memories, we began to grasp and appreciate the full impact
she made in our lives. As one person put it, heaven received a beautiful angel
while earth lost a lovely soul. Through our stories we nurtured our memories,
keeping our beloved Maddie alive, in our minds, in our hearts. That is, after
all, the power and le raison for
stories.
The last
time I saw Maddie alive was Dec. 12. She was in remission—or so we thought. She
and I dined at a Vietnamese restaurant, sharing shrimp spring rolls and
steaming bowls of chicken pho. I
showed her photos on my iPhone of the Victorian home I’d purchased in a small
town about an hour from Houston. The house is on Church Street, and we agreed I
should name the place Church Street Retreat because my vision is to facilitate
writing retreats for women there.
Even in
death, she inspires me to embrace my vision. We need to share the stories of
our lives with one another because in our telling, we will find our strength,
our value, and our joy.
This blog
is about bearing witness to the stories of people’s lives and reflecting upon
the process. I’ll post every Sunday and hope the blog will stir your own
memories, so you’ll begin putting your life stories in a journal, notebook, or
computer file. In this way, we will begin telling our amazing stories together.
*Just so
you know, TOAST is an acronym for Telling
Our Amazing Stories Together.
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